You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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