we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
