I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
