me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dear god my vagina.
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