found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
