she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she peed on how many people?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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