she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
