we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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