Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
