i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
