Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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