I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
so much tequila, so little girl.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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