Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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