im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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