Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
