can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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