he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think a kid would responsible me up
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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