??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
