You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
