If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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