woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
