you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
