i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
