I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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