I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
