How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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