You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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