I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
