Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
