from now on my penis is your penis
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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