I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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