I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
