Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
