I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
