I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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