I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
