so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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