i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
