Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
