____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
