He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
