using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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