Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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