ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
