do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
