I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
