It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
