I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
