he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
