So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
